Address to the 3rd Army
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.
Men, all this stuff youve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans, traditionally, love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle.
When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldnt give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. Thats why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.
Now, an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post dont know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.
Now, we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God, I actually pity those poor bastards were going up against. By God, I do. Were not just going to shoot the bastards. Were going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. Were going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.
Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not youll chicken-out under fire. Dont worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friends face, youll know what to do.
Now theres another thing I want you to remember. I dont want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. Were not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and were not interested in holding onto anything -- except the enemy. Were going to hold onto him by the nose, and were gonna kick him in the ass. Were gonna kick the hell out of him all the time, and were gonna go through him like crap through a goose!
Now, theres one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home -- and you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when youre sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, What did you do in the great World War Two? -- you wont have to say, Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana.
Alright now you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel.
Oh, I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys
into battle anytime,
anywhere.
Thats all.